A couple of weeks ago while watching Black Panther, I saw the trailer for The Hurricane Heist and immediately thought “This is the dumbest thing I’ve seen in some time”.  People at our screening started to laugh, others thought it was a joke. Jokes on us because the film is real so I went to see if this film is as bad as I thought and I was right. The Hurricane Heist stars a bunch of British people doing THE WORST southern accents you’ve ever heard in your lives. I understand that the Southern accent is the easiest one for Brits to pick up, but step up your game England. The film is set in some rinky-dink town in Alabama, a US Mint facility is destroying federal money via a mega shredder (How come this money can’t be used on our national debt?).  An organized criminal unit breaks into the bank to steal 600 million dollars and uses the eye of a Category 5 hurricane to escape. The only people who can stop them is a Treasury agent who is super tough because she had 6 brothers and a redneck storm chaser who actually tries to make you believe he has a Ph.D. in anything.

I have no idea how this film got a wide theatrical release because this movie is DUMB for a film that takes itself too seriously. You basically have to accept that things that would never happen do. Things like people driving around for miles in the middle of a hurricane with little to no problem, The winds of a hurricane seem to have no effect on our heroes despite bad guys getting blown away 4 feet away from them, mountains in Alabama, 5 people could take over a Mint facility because all the armed guys can’t make a single shot. The film isn’t subtle in its stupidity and doesn’t even have the decency to at least unintentionally funny.

At the end of the day, The Hurricane Heist feels like two movies that don’t really click with one another that is connected with an absurd plot that would have never have been believable. The actors are brought on the cheap but what’s more criminal is the film fails as a Hurricane movie and a Heist movie. It is the biggest schlock to come out this year and filmmakers couldn’t even embrace it.

1/5

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