It’s that time of the year again, for me to take out 12 months of frustration out on the worst pieces of trash that took a minimum of 20 hours out of my life. 2018 was a diverse year in bad films. You had movies that were dull, movies that were offensive, movies that were dumb, and movies that were so dumb you wonder who greenlit them in the first place. The films that made this list have no enjoyment factor so here is the list of the Top 10 worst movies of 2018 with some Honorable Mentions.
10. Truth Or Dare
Capping off the list is one of two poorly made horror films in 2018 staring alumni from the terrible TV Series Pretty Little Liars. Everything is wrong with this movie. Truth or Dare is inept in nearly every way, but it’s not bad enough to appreciate how bad it is so it even fails at the one thing it actually does right. All of the characters are unlikable, but the deaths don’t even give you the satisfaction of watching them die in gruesome ways because it’s PG-13. Truth or Dare is the reason box office numbers in the United States is dropping like flies because who would waste $15 on a film like this?
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is by far the stupidest movie of 2018 and I say that as a Chris Pratt fan. For the 5th time in this franchise’s timeline, someone is trying to weaponize the dinosaurs despite the fact that it has failed EVERY SINGLE TIME. Our heroes are liberal dinosaur rights activists (yes, I’m serious) and the ending involves said MSNBC activists releasing the dinosaurs into the world putting humanity at risk because a 7 seven old girl is a clone like them…This film is far too stupid to turn your brain off and enjoy, Jurassic World 2 is probably the worse film of the entire series.
8. Future World
Before James Franco was #MeToo’d from Hollywood, he starred and directed in one of the worst films of 2018. A film that was shot two years ago but not released is a good sign that Lionsgate wanted absolutely nothing to do with this movie. Future World is a film that makes no sense because there is no story structure. Most of the first 30 minutes is the film switching back and forth between two characters with no explanation. You don’t know if you are watching a flashback or a plot unfolding. It’s not even made clear who the main character is until halfway in. There is absolutely no passion from any of the actors despite a big-name ensemble cast. Milla Jovovich is the only thing that makes this film watchable and she is severely underused, Future World wants to be Mad Max so bad that it has no idea how to work as a movie.
It’s the time shtick we have seen over and over again, nothing as changed. The only difference here than all the other Will Ferrell movies is that the writer and director Etan Cohen is so butthurt about President Trump, he made references (including one “but she won the popular vote” rant) THREE TIMES IN THE FILM. There is ONE good bit in the film involving a pro wrestler and MMA announcers that got a smile out of me, outside of that this film is too boring to be upset at, it is just a waste of time.
Does anyone else see the irony of a 100 million dollar film which decries the wrongs of Capitalism failing? Antifa Batman isn’t a movie as much as it is a radical Communism training video. The “Merry Men” have been turned into masked Anarcho-Communists who rise up against their oppressors. There is heavy social commentary about the Catholic Church (and Christians in general), strong anti-war undertones about the Middle East, as well as some healthy disdain for the rich. Not only is the film preachy but it is incredibly dull which is a bigger insult. Robin Hood (2018) is the only film I considered walking out on this year which goes to show why it failed so badly with audiences.
A rated R muppet movie sounds good on paper…if you are stoned. This film couldn’t be more clichéd if it tried. If you have seen the trailer, you know exactly what the gag is, puppets saying crude things, using foul language, peppered with some sex and drug use. Setting aside the predictability of the humor, the problem lies with writer Todd Berger, who fails on multiple levels to delivers what is called ‘comedy’. The second problem is that Berger tries to turn this film into a social commentary on classism, racism, and sexism in modern America by portraying the puppets as inferiors. However, none of the commentary sticks when one minute you are trying to create a metaphor for racism and the next minute you have sex jokes with puppet prostitutes making your message both pompous and ridiculous. The Happytime Murders is nothing more than a one-note bore full of poor writing and a lead actress whose shtick is far past tired.
Speaking of terrible comedies, here is the worst one of 2018. A film that was praised by critics for its Progressivism and Feminism was a dud with general audiences. It is no surprise that the painfully unfunny duo of Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen are attached as producers for this film because the pitch for this movie sounds like someone said “Well we can be just like those Seth Rogen comedies but with women”. Blockers takes the lowest standard of comedy that Hollywood has to offer and goes even a step below that. Doing the same tired gross-out and penis gags straight from the book of Goldberg/Rogen except Kay Cannon is even worse at making this style of comedy work. Rogen comedies like this need to die like YA films.
You remember that ONE book you were forced to read back in the 4th grade? You don’t remember anything about the book anymore, but you vaguely remember the title. Disney decided to give your vague memory a 100 million dollar budget and made one of the most boring films of the 2010s. Nobody was more devastated that this film bombed than members of the media, some went as far as to claim that it didn’t matter how bad the film was because the ‘message’ was all that mattered. It’s clear that Disney wanted this film to represent a victory for diversity on the heels of Black Panther, instead, we got a boring incomprehensible tale that angers fans of the book and pleases no one else in the process.
I honestly had no plans on hating this film until I saw it, if it wasn’t for the #1 film, this would have been a slam dunk for the top spot. Widows is exactly the type misandrist film full of progressive dogma and not so subtle messages about gender, class, race, politics, etc that gets you 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. Every man in the film is a racist, sexist, homophobe, wife beater, murder, creep, etc. There are some laughable propaganda moments like police officers gunning down a black man in his car for LITERALLY no reason, recurring lectures about institutional racism saying no matter how hard you work, it doesn’t matter because the system, there is even a scene dedicated to the debunked gun show loophole. But even if you take the politics out of the film, you are stuck with a near 2 1/2 hour film leading up to a heist that is deemed completely irrelevant by the film’s ending. Widows is a ham-fisted drama disguised as a heist film that soaks in its own false sense of intelligence.
One thing that was clear about 2018 is that there were a lot of movies from writers, producers, and directors in Hollywood where they straight up took out their anger of losing the 2016 presidential election on their audiences. There is no greater example than The First Purge. Released on American Independence Day, James DeMonaco and Jason Blum released their hate-filled fantasy movie that not only targets the President but everyone who they think may have voted for him. In a world where Republicans take control of the government, they decide to pay
black people poor people to kill participate in the purge. However, as the Purge begins and the government realizes that black people poor people aren’t killing each other at the rate that they would have liked, so they opt for plan B which is sending Trump Supporters the KKK and the alt-right Neo-Nazis into the blackest poorest areas in town and murder all the black and brown marginalized people. It is then up to our heroes, a Bernie Sanders voter professional protestor, and her straight up crack dealer drug kingpin ex-boyfriend to save their neighborhood from Ben Shapiro literal Nazis. The film even goes as far to reenact the Charleston church shooting to score political points against the administration (An attack that happened BEFORE he was president). A film that went so far to give me the finger, it’s no shock that I returned the favor and awarded it my worst film of 2018.
Honorable Mentions For Worst Of 2018