The Emoji Movie Quick Review

WARNING: The following review contains spoilers, I’m telling you now so you don’t pretend to be outraged later.

Did anybody think The Emoji Movie was going to be any good? It’s a film about fucking Emojis for Christ sake. The trailer made me slam my head on the desk. A room full of coked up hipsters during a round of blow came up with this genius idea “Hey let’s make a movie about cell phone happy faces”


BRILLIANT!!!! Somebody give that man 50 million dollar to make that movie!


Even better, let get T.J. Miller to be the lead!


Who the fuck is that?

Image result for The Emoji Movie 2017


The guy from last year’s classic Office Christmas Party


Oh yeah, that was another great movie


Hey guys, you still want to do that Aunt May Spiderman movie?


Remember, there is actually a group of people in Hollywood who have the nerve to tell aspiring screenwriters that their work is amateur while they give 50 million dollars to create this cinematic dumpster fire. The Emoji Movie fails as a film that adults want to see, kids want to see, and anyone not under the influence of narcotics will want to see it either. T.J. Miller stars as the ‘meh’ Emoji which means displays displeasure and disinterest…just like in real life. Poor little Emoji wants to find himself and be more than what he is and Dear God who thought this was a good idea? A smorgasbord of C-List celebrities lend their voices in what was surely a payment for a new Man Cave right before football season. The only reason this film exists is because Sony wanted some Ad Revenue and used a bunch of tech companies to give product placement. The Emoji Movie is a certified lock for Top 10 Worst Films Of 2017, avoid at all costs.


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