WARNING: The following review contains spoilers, I’m telling you now so you don’t pretend to be outraged later.
A magic box your father finds in the trash can, promises to fulfill 7 wishes of anything you want…for a cost. Too bad that cost is in Ancient Mandarin so you’ll end up making about 5 wishes before you realize you were screwed 4 wishes ago. That’s the premise of Wish Upon, the newest horror film from Broad Green Pictures. My rule of thumb is that if your lead actor in a horror movie cannot legally vote in the United States, then you are probably going to have a bad time. However, that is not the case here…depending on how you look at it.
This is a horror film, but it’s not scary outside of some forced jump scares. However, the film is entertaining at how dumb some of the characters are and how bad the dialogue is. The film begins like an episode of Degrassi (when Degrassi actually dealt with real issues, not teens getting triggered by 2D video games) that is until the Chinese box of death is introduced then our main character Claire (Joey King) decides to be the biggest twat waffle on earth who waits until the 5th body of a personal friend or family member drops before she realizes that mistakes were made. The movie has a ‘so bad it’s entertaining’ element to it, but it’s not an awful film, it’s just not entertaining in the way the filmmakers intended. The dialogue is worse than a 90s sitcom on TGIF to the point you really don’t feel bad for anyone biting the dust outside of the Asian girl who was only in the film to explain the plot. Not to spoil the ending for you, but the ending is so good (in a sadist type of way) after 90 minutes of sitting through this film, it all feels worth. Wish Upon, is a poorly constructed horror film that doesn’t nearly go as far as it should with a PG-13 rating, but the film is so unintentionally funny, that it still makes for an entertaining film as long as you give up on the premise about 20 minutes in.
OFFICIAL RATING: **