Cocaine Bear Review: All Hype, No Action

The film ‘Cocaine Bear’ is the closest thing that will have to car crash to TV in 2023.

© 2023 Universal Studios

When everyone heard about the movie called ‘Cocaine Bear’ they were sold because they all liked the idea of a bear hyped up on cocaine slaughtering his victims with malice. It’s a simple idea and a simple pitch that will win over any audience member that doesn’t matter who’s attached to the film…unless we’re talking about Elizabeth Banks.

Elizabeth Banks is a filmmaker who has been the textbook definition of a ‘struggle bus’ over the last few years. The only two films that she directed before this movie came out were ‘Pitch Perfect 2’ and the 2019 reboot of ‘Charlie’s Angels.’

© 2023 Universal Studios

After the failure of said Charlie’s Angels movie, Banks blamed her short Falls as a filmmaker on the industry’s sexism against women. Needless to say, the film cocaine bear is like getting a box of chocolates and then opening the box only to figure out that you got the one with all the cherries inside.

The film begins in 1985 with a drug smuggler whose shipment of cocaine falls out of his plane into the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest. An American black bear eats some of the cocaine, becoming highly aggressive, and begins attacking and killing hikers.

© 2023 Universal Studios

Meanwhile, a group of drug dealers goes into the woods to retrieve the missing cocaine without realizing that a drugged-up bear is on the loose causing havoc. If you’re a moviegoer who is expecting absolute Carnage, you may be disappointed by ‘Cocaine Bear’.

The film is a whole lot of talking and not enough killing which defeats the entire purpose of why you’re in the theater, to begin with. The film opts to follow three different stories that all find a way to link up towards the end of the film but none of the storylines are that interesting along the way.

© 2023 Universal Studios

You have Carrie Russell playing the mother of a young girl who has decided to travel all the way into the mountains with her childhood friend. The only joke there is watching them get high on cocaine by blowing it into each other’s faces for laughs.

Meanwhile, you have the storyline of a park ranger that goes nowhere for the amount of time that is spent on it, followed by the only storyline that has anything to do with the central plot which is two drug dealers played by O’Shea Jackson Jr and Alden Ehrenreich who are looking for the drugs that the bear is eating.

© 2023 Universal Studios

The best way to describe this film is disappointing. The hype for this movie only blew up once people discovered the title of the movie.

By that point, the film was already in the can which means that disappointment was pretty much guaranteed. The special effects are pretty rough The story is very boring and at the end of the day this is a film that simply didn’t have any ideas outside of his initial pitch meeting.

© 2023 Universal Studios

‘C0caine Bear’ is a film that sounds more exciting than it actually is.







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