Pitch Perfect 3 Review

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Three months ago I uttered the words, “This probably won’t be the worst movie of the year”. Well, it might not be the worst movie of the year…but its pretty damn close. The entire experience of going to the movie theater and watching this garbage was a military torture test. After sitting through 20 minutes of previews for movies that I’d rather be waterboarded than watch & review, it took about 10-15 minutes into the film to seriously consider walking out and going home, breaking my 11-year streak (Black Christmas 2006). The last film I wanted to walk out on was also a Rebel Wilson film and I’m starting to see a trend. Pitch Perfect 3 is a nothing movie featuring a nothing plot written by hack frauds. When feminist women in Hollywood complain about women not getting a seat at the table in terms of Hollywood filmmaking and those same women come out with bullshit like this, it isn’t the patriarchy that is the problem…it’s you. Seriously think for a second, you have a female director in Trish Sie, with a female writer in Kay Cannon, and a female producer in Elizabeth Banks, who all worked to put together the most offensive and pathetic examples of female empowerment in cinematic history. It’s mirror time for you ladies because there is no one here to blame but yourselves.

The Bellas are back and this time they are here to win the opportunity to open for DJ Khaled…and that’s how far the plot was planned. The remaining 85 minutes are acapella cover songs, Rebel Wilson improvising painfully unfunny one-liners, and a storyline revolving around the father of one of the Bellas that leads to a conclusion that proves without a shadow of a doubt the writers had no ideas for this film. I’ve already seen multiple reviewers claiming that females deserve better than Pitch Perfect 3, to that I say, if the women who made this movie spent as much time on quality filmmaking as they do on their Twitter accounts, maybe you wouldn’t have gotten a top 5 worst film of the year.

OFFICIAL RATING:<3>

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  10 comments for “Pitch Perfect 3 Review

  1. December 21, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    I kind of feel bad for John Lithgow.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 21, 2017 at 10:52 pm

      A paycheck is a paycheck I guess.

      Like

      • December 21, 2017 at 11:06 pm

        First Daddy’s Home 2 and now this. I sense a theme.

        Like

      • December 21, 2017 at 11:07 pm

        He hasn’t hit Robert De Niro level yet

        Like

      • December 21, 2017 at 11:12 pm

        Or Al Pacino with his new 0% RT movie.

        Like

      • December 21, 2017 at 11:27 pm

        It’s been over for Pacino for while some time

        Like

  2. January 1, 2018 at 11:40 am

    I think I found the best movie critic.

    Like

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