Geostorm Review

Image result for geostorm film 2017Geostorm is a terrifying tale of government corruption and the surrender of sovereignty for the sake of safety. After failing to heed the warning on climate change, a collation of nations comes together to spend Quadrillions of taxpayers’ dollars to create a massive fence around the Earth which stabilizes satellites that control the weather of the planet. However, a corrupt government entity has weaponized this technology to kill the same citizens it was sworn to protect. After someone in the US government has committed an act of war on multiple countries without a declaration, Jake Lawson (Gerard Butler) under the orders of world government must return to the Skynet machine that he created in the hopes of shutting it down once and for all. However, it turns out that his machine is so compromised that you wonder how any government with using common sense (oxymoron) would have allowed him to create this literal Death Star in the first place.

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Geostorm redefines ‘nonsensical’. A film that spends the majority of its time lecturing you about the importance of putting our petty sovereignty aside for the sake of the greater good only goes to reassure you why the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions. The only good that comes out of this film is that you can take a couple of friends and Mystery Science Theatre this film because it is purely moronic. I mean, why would you need to create a machine that could freeze or burn an entire city in seconds? What is the purpose of creating a Star Wars Death Laser to fight climate change? How does a lightning strike blow up an entire arena? How does a tsunami reach the middle of the Afghan desert? How does the reporter on TV know how many people are on the station why our main character on found out two minutes ago?  How do you outrun an arctic blast…on foot…barefoot? Why would you spend Quadrillions dollars on a Death Star that could be so easily controlled to kill the entire population? Why would you invest even more Quadrillions to rebuild the damn thing that went rogue only 3 months earlier? There is only one question to ask about this film…

OFFICIAL RATING:

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  2 comments for “Geostorm Review

  1. October 30, 2017 at 5:24 am

    Definitely sounds like a real mess with no actual thought into the plot. I’m guessing they thought up the scenario of a global destruction machine first and built the plot around that…which doesn’t work very well.

    Like

  2. October 30, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    Taking the “Steve Austin” rating to a whole new level, I see! 😅

    Liked by 1 person

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