A few months ago, I saw the trailer for the new remake of ‘House Party’ and I made the mistake of believing that this could be a good movie.
I thought that if presented in the right way, this film could be a sleeper hit in the cinema graveyard known as the month of January. I was 1000% wrong.
In the near 7 year history that I’ve been doing these reviews for the site, I have walked out of four movies, 2023’s ‘House Party’ is one of those films.
Assuming that most people reading this have watched the original ‘House Party’ movie, the film was a reflection of Black Culture in the late 1980s. A time when New Jack Swing was the popular genre of music before gangster rap took everything downhill. The film was a reflection of the childhood of Generation X and has remained a cult classic for decades. Enter LeBron James.
When LeBron James isn’t reading the same two pages of his Malcolm X biography, he spends his time cosplaying as a Hollywood film producer. LeBron’s production company is responsible for pushing this film and if audiences knew that it was directed by a hip-hop video director, they would be halfway prepared for what is certain to be one of the worst movies of 2023 and we’re 13 days in.
2023’s ‘House Party’ begins as a story of two broke club promoters looking for their next big score. Kevin (Jacob Latimore) is desperate to find the money for his daughter’s preschool education. His best friend Damon (Tosin Cole) works with him cleaning houses for millionaires when they arrive at LeBron James’s house and gets the idea to host a party at his house without his knowledge.
At face value, this is an idea that could have worked, But LeBron James didn’t have the money to hire people who knew what the fuck they were doing.
‘House Party’ is a failure right out of the gate. For a movie that is listed as a comedy, the film is about as funny as watching the George Floyd arrest video. 98% of the humor in this film does not land to the point where the silence in the crowd after a joke is noticeable.
The plot of this film is paper thin, the protagonists claim that they’re doing all this for the main character’s daughter but outside of one scene in the very beginning, you get no indication that Kevin is a good father in any way, shape, or form.
The story doesn’t matter here, there’s only reason why this film exists is Celebrity worship of Hip Hop stars and basketball players.
The film has nothing to offer its audience as far as plot and entertainment so the film relies on cameos of rappers and sports athletes. There’s no heart or soul to this movie and there is no reason for the film to exist. There’s the third Act.
The 3rd act of the movie goes off the rails by detouring into the occultic on-screen representation of the Illuminati. You heard that right, the ‘House Party’ turns the satanic Illuminati into a plot point for the film.
After LeBron James’s championship ring gets stolen by a group of thugs, our duo goes to a mansion party run by the Illuminati where they run into celebrities including Kid and Play from the original movies partaking in blood drinking, bloodsports, and occultic worship.
This is all supposed to be played for laughs, but for most of us who are still waiting for Jeffrey Epstein’s Client List to be exposed, the humor of elite satanic celebrities running the world is too close to the nose to be taken as humor it ends up bringing the entire film to a screeching halt.
By the time LeBron James shows up to act, I walked out. there was nothing else that needed to be seen about this movie that could save it from that low point.
2023’s ‘House Party’ is a stone-cold lead pipe lock to be my top five worst movies of 2023, and if somehow this movie isn’t in my top five, we are in for a long painful year.
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