You ever go to Starbucks and get a really kick-ass latte, so you ask for another one and they give it to you…10 years later…that’s Zombieland Double Tap.

Sometimes it’s better late than never, other times, it’s better to leave things in the past because Zombieland Double Tap is the sequel that is about 5-6 years past the time that anybody wanted it. Everything about this film screamed cash grab from the trailers to the marketing but in a world of dying comedy, there was at least hope that this film could do the bare minimum of being entertaining. However, the second Zoey Deutch appeared as a Paris Hilton clone circa 2004, the audience had committed the greatest sin of Hollywood, expecting something to be funny.
Zombieland Double Tap begins ten years after the first film and boy does it show as some of our cast is looking a little rough and I’m not talking about Abigail Breslin. Ten years have passed and our group is still wandering around aimlessly scavenging for supplies that have had to have gone bad by this time period but don’t ask too many questions about the plot. The gang settles down at the White House until Wichita’s (Emma Stone) fear of commitment becomes too much to keep her with the group. Her and Little Rock (Breslin) bolt on the boys until Little Rock decides to bolt for a boy of her own. Now the group must head to Graceland to prevent…um…Little Rock from falling in love with a future ANTIFA member or something???

It doesn’t take long to figure out that the writers had nothing for this movie. After years of development hell, there was no realistic arc they could pick up and run with leaving everyone with an empty shell of a franchise that didn’t need a sequel in the first place. The plot makes no sense, it’s been over 10 years and after all this time Wichita and Columbus are only just now arguing over marriage? Is this the only time this topic has come up?
Even then, Wichita’s left-wing fear of divorce makes no sense seeing how she’s already been with the same group of people for 10 years up to this point in the first place. The film is rough around the edges because the writers are clearly having to manufacture a reason for its existence. There is no real plot and the elements they do introduce have no payoff so what you get is callbacks to the first film that give a couple of laughs but no fulfillment. At the end of the day, it is a 90-minute film that the only thing people will take away from is the end credit scene.

The best part of Zombieland Double Tap is a humorous bit with Luke Wilson and Thomas Middleditch but the humor is largely a miss like a sitcom without the laugh track. Zombieland 2 is an idea that was better left to the imagination instead of ever becoming a reality.
2/5
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