Nine Rules For Not Being A Turd By Chris Pratt

Comic Con

While accepting the Generation Award at Monday’s MTV Movie and TV Awards, actor Chris Pratt gave a very interesting list of rules to follow for today’s youth “This being the generation award I am going to cut to the chase and speak to you, the next generation. I accept the responsibility as your elder, so listen up,”

Number one: breathe. If you don’t, you’ll suffocate.

Number two: You have a soul. Be careful with it.

Number three: Don’t be a turd. If you’re strong, be a protector and if you’re smart, be a humble influencer. Strength and intelligence can be weapons and do not wield them against the weak. That makes you a bully. Be bigger than that.

Number four: When giving a dog medicine, put the medicine in a little piece of hamburger and they won’t even know they’re eating medicine.

Number five: Doesn’t matter what it is, earn it. A good deed, reach out to someone in pain, be of service, it feels good and it’s good for your soul.

Number six: God is real. God loves you. God wants the best for you. Believe that. I do.

Number seven: If you have to poop at a party, but you’re embarrassed because you’re going to stink up the bathroom, just do what I do. Lock the door. Sit down, get all the pee out first. Okay? Then, when all the pee’s done, poop-flush-boom. You minimize the amount of time that the poop is touching the air because if you poop first, then it takes you longer to pee and you’re peeing on it, stirring it up and the poop particles create a cloud that goes out and then everyone at the party will know that you pooped. Just trust me, it’s science.

Number eight: Learn to pray. It’s easy and it’s so good for your soul.

Number nine: Nobody is perfect. People are going to tell you you’re perfect just the way you are; you’re not! You are imperfect. You always will be, but there’s a powerful force that designed you that way. And if you’re willing to accept that you will have grace and grace is a gift. Like the freedom we enjoy in this country that grace was paid for with somebody else’s blood. Do not forget it. Don’t take it for granted.

God bless you. Please get home safely.

Columbia Pictures

Don’t be a turd.


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8 thoughts on “Nine Rules For Not Being A Turd By Chris Pratt

  1. A good soul… he knows what’s going on and is talking at a higher level than the rest of the puppets in hollyweird… how long will he endure the pressure from the left for talking God Sense and not being just another Trump trashing liberal puppet..? We’ll see…

  2. This is why Chris Pratt is my favorite current actor. A hunter, farmer, Christian, and patriot.

  3. Chris Pratt did something genius. By mixing in religious truisms with popular culture smut, he fed these dogs medicine in their meat.

    “God loves you” is the medicine. “Now here is a story about poop”. There’s the meat.

    They never realized they just got much needed medicine.

  4. I honestly couldn’t believe it when I read your article. A Hollywood star saying something like this?!?!? Okay, I lied. I did believe it because I spiraled with joy at the words. Couldn’t get the smile off my face. Then I went on to watch the video. All these stars acting like the moral police, calling others sexist, homophobic so blatantly and then there is just Chris who is simply trying to look out for the future, no accusations, no namecalling, simply classy. Massive props to this dude!

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