December 27, 2006…the film was Black Christmas…it was the last time I let a film beat me and I walked out of the movie before the ending. 4,021 days since I’ve walked out and today…the streak is over.
And the film that broke the streak was a film nobody reading this has heard of or will ever watch…The Ex-File 3: The Return of The Exes. From what I understood about the plot before I left the theater. You have two couples who have been friends for years, one couple has been together for 2 years, the other for 5 years. The couple who has been together for 5 years have broken up…and that’s where my interest ended.
This is the most BORING movie I’ve seen in years. I’ve watched movies that were bad and movies I’ve hated, this one was just BBOOOORRRRIIINNNGGGG!!!! This film is marketed as a romantic/comedy, I didn’t see the comedy and I couldn’t care less about the romance. There is a scene in the opening 10 minutes where the main couple goes around saying nothing to each other. No words, no music, no comedy, no tension, just silence. I literally wrote ‘ZZZZZZZ’ in my notes. The main couple is boring, they have no chemistry, they sit around moping the entire time, and the focus is on them. The secondary couple is actually somewhat entertaining, which begs the question, why weren’t they the stars of the movie instead of Mopey McNothingBurger? By the time the girl goes to a tropical island by herself and we are treated with more nothing and pouting, I checked the time on my phone and it was only 40 minutes into a 2 hour movie, so I had to make a decision…sit around and be bored off my tits for the next hour and 20 minutes, or count my losses and go home.
The Ex-File 3: The Return of the Exes is the most boring movie I’ve seen since Blair Witch Project and for beating my streak I have to award this film a one-time rating of….
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