Rings (2017) Review: A Vanilla Attempt At A Franchise Reboot

Just because an evil spirit just happens to be a little girl, doesn’t mean you can be a hero and try to save her…stop trying to save the demon!

Paramount Pictures

Rings is a film about a group of idiots who watch the deadly tape that kills them in 7 days. The only way to live is to make a copy of the film and show it to someone else. A girl named Julia decides to bite the bullet for her boyfriend and watch the video (What an idiot), but this video comes with more footage and seemingly a cry for help by a spirit connected to Samara Morgan. Turns out it was all for nothing because you simply can’t trust evil, shocker.

Rings manages to pretend that The Ring Two never happened (not like anyone remembers it anyway) and pushes out a boring cash grab on the original movie without adding anything to the story outside of someone you feel bad for all of 2 minutes. The actors are hired for cheap except for that guy from Big Bang Theory and Vincent D’Onofrio who is in this just to play a crazy ex-priest who might not have been actually crazy considering the ending. The only new angle they manage to bring is moving away from the dated 2002 use of VHS into the digital era where now the ghost can kill you via a smartphone or a laptop. A waste of time is what this film ultimately becomes, it’s not as bad as the critics are panning it but it sure as hell isn’t much better.

Paramount Pictures

If it wasn’t for D’Onofrio, there would be no reason to watch this vanilla movie, in an attempt to jumpstart a past horror franchise, Rings only makes us hope even more that this is the end we ever have to see of this stupid tape again.




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2 thoughts on “Rings (2017) Review: A Vanilla Attempt At A Franchise Reboot

  1. So what was the last good horror movie that came out in your opinion. I’m not saying you’re wrong but every horror movie that came out you just rip apart, so is there any good horror movies?

    1. Split was pretty good. Ouija: Origin of Evil was a good one. Blair Witch has great tension but a terrible story. Lights Out was had a good story but wasn’t very scary. Many scary movie fail both at being scary and telling a good story. January was an absolute dumpster fire for Horror movies which is why they got released after Oscar season. Bye Bye Man is a lock for top 5 worst movies of the year.

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