WARNING: The following review contains spoilers, I’m telling you now so you don’t pretend to be outraged later.
Just because an evil spirit just happens to be a little girl, doesn’t mean you can be Hero Man and save her…stop trying to save this bitch. Rings is a film about a group of idiots who watch the deadly tape that kills them in 7 days. The only way to live is to make a copy of the film and show it to someone else. A girl named Julia decides to bite the bullet for her boyfriend and watch the video (What an idiot), but this video comes with more footage and seemingly a cry for help by a spirit connected to Samara Morgan. Turns out it was all for nothing because you simply can’t trust evil, shocker.
Rings manages to pretend that The Ring Two never happened (not like anyone remembers it anyway) and pushes out a boring cash grab on the original movie without adding anything to the story outside of someone you feel bad for all of 2 minutes. The actors are hired for cheap except for that guy from Big Bang Theory and Vincent D’Onofrio who is in this just to play a crazy ex-priest who might not have been actually crazy considering the ending. The only new angle they manage to bring is moving away from the dated 2002 use of VHS into the digital era where now the ghost can kill you via a smartphone or a laptop. I was going to give this film a slightly higher rating but the ending really made the overall film seem pointless especially since we have seen this ending before. A waste of time is what this film ultimately becomes, it’s not as bad as the critics are panning it but it sure as hell isn’t much better. If it wasn’t for D’Onofrio, there would be no reason to watch this vanilla movie, in an attempt to jumpstart a past horror franchise, Rings only makes us hope even more that this is the end we ever have to see of this stupid tape.
OFFICIAL RATING: *
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