In a year that contained race riots, a global pandemic, a new normal, a great communist reset, the destruction of a free society, and the death of small businesses; leave it to the following films to somehow find a way to be even worst than all of that. 2020 was one of the worst years for films in history. From big budget pandering to the Chinese government, to films that were as funny as a mass shooting, as well as films that celebrated the most immoral takes of progressives clown world. It was hard to narrow the list down to just 10 films but we did starting with #10.
10. My Spy
A film so bad that even the studio didn’t want you to see it. My Spy was a comedy starring internet Cybernazi hunter Dave Bautista that was delayed on three separate occasions until STXfilms finally cut their losses and sold the rights to Amazon. Screenwriters Jon and Erich Hoeber could not figure out if they wanted a buddy action comedy, a wholesome family adventure, or a Disney Channel-esque production with obscene rap lyrics playing in the background. None of these themes mix well, but they are all part of this directionless mess. The only people who would enjoy a film like this are the one who think Modern Family is a funny sitcom.
The Rhythm Section shows you exactly why heroin-addicted hookers make terrible spies in international incidents. Blake Lively stars as a woman who loses her entire family in a plane crash and is now out for revenge. At one point, Lively’s character is fighting a man in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank (not a bit) and not only does she get her ass kicked, but the guy she’s fighting dies when he runs out of oxygen while beating the crap out of her. The Rhythm Section is a mess of a film and one of the worst narrative movies in the last few years. Truly a failure from top to bottom.
In a world where you have superpowered humans that you can riddle with bullets and they keep moving like the terminator, the storytelling is still so dull and uninspiring it could put you out like a sleeping pill. Director Gina Prince-Bythewood was a babbling choice to take the reins of this action film, as the Love and Basketball alum is known for romantic dramas not action films. The filmmakers took so much time making sure that every aspect of their film was politically correct, they forgot to add a story, interesting characters, witty dialogue, engaging conflicts, emotion, action, and cinematography. The Old Guard is a film that is so woke, it puts its audience to sleep.
Eight minutes into “The Lovebirds,” and it was clear that this was the type of Netflix romantic comedy that two unmarried, middle-aged Canadians would write for a major studio. But Paramount Pictures sold the rights to Netflix to avoid being on the hook for a $16 million dollar bust, a decision that likely has the studio laughing to the bank. The film doesn’t even pretend that Rae and Nanjiani have any chemistry on screen as a couple. At no point does the viewer believe their relationship, so they make that shortcoming part of the story. Their on-screen relationship has no shred of realism, nor does it attempt to make it so. “The Lovebirds” a rom-com with no rom or com, a bullet dodged for Paramount.
6. Like A Boss
By far the worst comedy of not only 2020 but the entire decade thus far, Like A Boss systematically fails as a buddy comedy film. Rose Bryne and Tiffany Haddish have ZERO chemistry, their characters are not likable…actually, no one in this film is likable, and the movie is painfully unfunny. Salma Hayek’s boobs can’t even begin to save this movie, everything here is an abject failure that can’t even dust up enough material to fit an 80-minute runtime. Trying to take the heat away from how bad the lead women are, is exactly how another stinker like this gets made 2-3 years from now by creators who simply don’t get the picture. Bury this film in the cinematic graveyard.
Gretel & Hansel looks appealing until you discover what it truly is, a flavorless reboot with some questionable feminist messaging in between. One can’t go very long with noticing the anti-family messaging in the story where our evil occult witch straight up tells a young Gretel to give up on her brother (aka her family) who is holding her back from her potential. A message that is especially disturbing given the context of Gretel adopting the ideology of a Satanic cannibalistic witch in some sort of a pseudo-friendship. With a runtime less than 80 minutes, Gretel & Hansel is every bit that visually aesthetic buffet that tastes like a bucket full of rotting entrails.
4. Coffee & Kareem
This film looked rotten from the opening trailers and it gets even more disturbing when you have a teenager constantly making references to the dick of a 40 year old man as they cuddle in a trunk of a car. The typical vulgar improv, toilet humor, and drug use are all present but this time, it’s performed by a child actor. And that’s the joke. The content of this film is just too unpleasant to enjoy, especially in a world where sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein and Huston Huddleston, who was convicted on child pornography charges, exist. There is an old argument that if you tolerate everything, there is nothing you won’t accept. “Coffee & Kareem” is not only a bad film, but could kill your sense of humor for 10-14 days.
No movie deserved to bomb more in 2020 than Disney’s boring love letter to the communist chinese government. Disney made no bones in Mulan’s production that this film was created to pander to the Chinese market as much as possible. Awarded with a 200 million budget, Disney hoped that China would return their investment in full but they Mary Sue’d the shit outta Mulan taking away all points of emotion and empathy you had from the original cartoon. Mulan does not grow over the course of her adventure because she is already great at everything from the start. There are no obstacles to overcome because she already overcame them before the opening credits. The feminist message of women are awesome and only have the potential to be even better creates a boring soulless protagonist with no stakes to invest your interest in. Audiences are better off treating Mulan (2020) like the Chinese treat Hong Kong protesters.
A film so bad, Letterboxd censored me THREE TIMES in order to prevent me from tearing it to shreds. A film that solely exists as a response to the recent wave of ‘Heartbeat bills’ in Midwest and Southern states that ban abortion after the heartbeat of a child is detected. A film where our protagonist steals her boyfriend’s engagement ring and pawns it in order to pay for an abortion that he doesn’t want…and somehow HE is the bad guy of this film. Unpregnant is a celebration of late stage feminist narcissism and no amount of censorship is going to prevent this fact from being true.
The #1 worst film of 2020 is easily the most joyless film of the last two decades. Downhill dupes moviegoers into thinking this was another family-friendly Will Ferrell laugh-fest and instead gives them misery porn disguised as entertainment. The film wants you to believe that because this man didn’t help his wife in a moment of panic, that EVERYTHING that she does is 100% justified…No. Louis-Dreyfus and Ferrell force audiences to watch the cinematic equivalent of sitting in a car with your parents while they argue on the way to Six Flags, and decide halfway there to turn around and go home, leaving you dissatisfied and miserable. They even had the audacity to release this nihilistic vision of wedded life during Valentine Day’s as an extra FU. Downhill is the cinematic equivalent of a white woman going “but what about ME!!???” when she is 100% in the wrong.
Honorable Mentions For Worst Films Of 2020: