Editorials Film Reviews

A Proactive Review: ‘Little’, ‘My Spy’, ‘Long Shot’

The nostalgia critic has a saying he does at the beginning of every video: "I remember it so you don't have to". Well, I just created a new saying "I'm reviewing it so I don't have to see it" 

The nostalgia critic has a saying he does at the beginning of every video: “I remember it, so you don’t have to”. Well, I just created a new saying “I’m reviewing it, so I don’t have to watch it” 

A little backstory here, during a screening for a recent film, I had to sit through 25 minutes of trailers for upcoming films. If you don’t know how the system works, Regal usually makes you sit through 10 minutes of trailers. Press screenings are usually trailer free, and AMC used to run 20 minutes before your movie…AMC has now bumped that time up to 25 minutes. That means you have to sit for nearly half an hour before you can watch the film you paid money to see. During this time, I have to sat through 25 minutes of some of the poorest excuses for comedies I’ve ever seen in my life…MULTIPLE TIMES. Two comedies had the exact same bit where one of the characters are doing the shoot dance for laughs in between some painfully corny af jokes. But then the one that broke me was the trailer for the latest Seth Rogen comedy…

So here is my rant/review about the following three films Little, My Spy, and Long Shot. Links to fight me IRL down below.

 

 

Little

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Another Big/Seventeen Again clone targeted to a black audience about a tech mogul who becomes a child again because life as an adult is just too hard. Outside of the fact that Hollywood continues to infantilize adults because how dare society expect you to have your shit together by the age of 48, the jokes are corny and there is a really creepy undertone of a 13-year-old girl hitting on grown shirtless men. The girl looks NOTHING like the older version of Regina Hall that she is supposed to be playing and…shoot dance in the trailer…0/5

 

<3>

 

 

 

My Spy

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The next unoriginal clown show comedy comes to us from the guy who coined the term ‘CyberNazis’ written by the guy who wrote Battleship…0/5

 

<3>

 

 

 

 

Long Shot

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Finally, we have yet another Seth Rogen comedy movie. If you have seen one, you have seen them all they never change. Sex jokes, unnecessary swearing, 20-minute bits dedicated to drug use (mostly marijuana and ecstasy), pop culture references outdated by at least 24 months, eye-rolling liberal social commentary, forced improvisation that is funnier to the actors than the audiences, and someone is going to show their dick in the film. I just spoiled the entire movie for you and I challenge anyone to come back here and tell me that i’m wrong. Save your money and time…0/5

 

 

 

<3>

 

 

That’s it, I’m done, I’m cleansing my soul with these films. Hard Pass, like John Stockton in his prime.

 

 

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5 comments on “A Proactive Review: ‘Little’, ‘My Spy’, ‘Long Shot’

  1. fred90024

    Once upon a time when Theaters were just introducing commercials, I made it a point to complain to the theater manager whenever there was a commercial before the film. That didn’t work so I began booing the commercial at the beginning of the film. I did that until someone shouted “Shut up! I like commercials!” That pretty much destroyed my faith in human intelligence so I gave up and now watch a tenth of the movies I used to in theaters. On those rare occasions, I just arrive 20 minutes after the movie was officially supposed to start to avoid 90 percent of the mind fucks. Unfortunately, the trailers for upcoming films are nearly as bad these days. You have performed a public service by reviewing these monstrosities.
    My comments:
    Little: The pedo angle with this one is strong.

    My Spy: Stupidly watched the trailer. Child characters who talk like 30 year old screen writers is one step removed from actual pedo.

    Long shot: I never see movies where the stars are self hating white guys. This jerk ruined “Green Hornet” since they couldn’t film around his ego.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poor Charlize… Fury road will remain her best movie!

    Liked by 1 person

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