Stop me if you have heard this story before…

“Set in a world where climate change has brought about the apocalypse”

Yep, it’s another one of THOSE movies and if you are sick to death of them, too bad because best believe Hollywood will double down on them going forward. What is interesting about this one however is the fact that Hayden Christensen is starring in the film. Despite being around for quite some time, not many mainstream audiences have heard from him since his Star Wars Prequel days. Well, don’t expect this film to be the one that puts him back on your radar. The Last Man could be the film to get people talking again, but not for the right reasons.

“Set in a world where climate change has brought about the apocalypse”…Hayden Christensen stars as a former combat veteran named Kurt, who has barricaded himself in his own home due to extreme weather and extreme PTSD. Western civilization has collapsed due to humans leaving the Paris Climate Agreement and The Green New Deal (not really, but you get the idea) and all that is left is a near barren wasteland where an old Best Buy use to stand. Despite all already been lost, there is the threat of another big storm on the horizon which could wipe out the remainder of humanity. So with time running out, Kurt must build a bunker with the help of a radical conspiracy theorist, before the end becomes a reality…but for real this time.

The perfect word to describe this film is misery. Everything from the setting, the tone, the cinematography, the color, the script, down to the costume design just screams crippling depression. Don’t be fooled by the noir look and feel to the movie because this is no Mad Max, hell it isn’t even Alita: Battle Angel. You have to first accept the fact that in this universe, the end of the world only took place LITERALLY one month ago, yet the setting suggests that these people went from loitering at Starbucks one day to becoming Luther from The Warriors the next.

I do feel bad for Christensen because he tried, he really does, but there is nothing in one of the most amateurish written films in years has for him to work with nor his overdone narration can save. There are only so many “We are the cancer, we did this” climate lectures you can take before you mentally begin to change the channel. The dialogue makes a Seth Rogen written comedy look like a Shakespearean masterpiece by comparison and there are characters in this film that make you wish you were watching Rogen instead. Not to mention, out of all the things that didn’t survive the apocalypse: running water, the banking system, clear air, Don Lemon’s hairline; the one thing that did? You guess it…Nazis. Even in a universe where climate change wipes out the planet, white supremacy will never die.

The only thing that I will applaud is the person who cut the trailer for this film because they completely masked the elementary school bus crash that is this film. The Last Man makes you yearn for the end of the days so that hack screenwriters from Argentina can’t make movies like this.

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