I have to believe that the creators of the Robert Langdon film series, revel in making this series as utterly confusing to its viewers as humanly possible. It’s hard enough to recommend a film series that has three different titles with no relation to one another in the name. When you try to describe to your friends what films you are talking about, they look at you like you are speaking English in Montreal. But after a while, you realize that you aren’t even talking about the correct series, to begin with. When talking about the Robert Langdon film series it took me about 5 minutes to realize I was actually describing the plot to National Treasure starring Nicolas Cage. That’s when it hit me; I don’t know a damn thing about this series and didn’t actually watch a single film. After taking 10 minutes to recover from this revelation, I decided that I had no choice but to go into this movie not knowing what the hell I was talking about…the same technique the writers of Inferno decided to use as well.

Our film begins in a hospital for some reason. Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) has awakened in Florence, Italy with no idea on how he got there outside of the fact he suffered a head injury due to a bullet wound. As Robert begins to have twisted visions of the end of the world, a female assassin makes her way to his room and immediately tries to kill him. Robert and his doctor Sienna (Felicity Jones) flee the killer and are on the run from seemly everyone in town. This is where the film stops making sense and tries to be too smart for its own good. The film tries so hard to be clever and create an amazing twist that the biggest twist is obvious about 15 minutes into the film and everything else is just a boring pointless red herring.

If this review sounds a bit confusing and the details feel poorly explained, then good luck sitting through 2 hours of this film because that exactly how I felt. Inferno inserts so much misdirection just for the sake of having a twist to keep the audience guessing, after a while, you simply give up trying to figure out what the hell is going on here and go to sleep…which I did. By the time I woke up, I discovered that Sienna was actually Zobrist’s girlfriend and was trying to release the virus the whole time. The only way you didn’t see this coming is if you fell asleep like I did and missed the lazy writing that telegraphed this twist a mile away. The film ends with everyone trying to stop Sienna from releasing the virus via water in a massive underground city, bullets fly, and the good guy wins. Blah. The End.

Inferno’s plot is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie on crack. The story is really dumb and the villain’s plan has so many holes in it, you wonder if they just made this movie based on the 1^st draft to make a buck. Readers of the book who hate this story won’t find the movie to be any better and will surely only confirm your complaints. The actors aren’t bad but even they can’t overcome the nonsensical and muddied storyline this film tries to present. If you’re a historian, there is no point of nitpicking how accurate the movie is because everything else is terrible enough on its own merit. If you are a moviegoer, you can only hope that this is the last you will ever have to see of Robert Langdon going forward.

1/5

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